


Kim Yugyeom's Wonderland of No Return

by Mr_johnnie



Category: GOT7
Genre: Gen, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-24 21:44:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6167758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mr_johnnie/pseuds/Mr_johnnie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of different oneshots with all kind of Yugyeom pairings to be added. May range from fluff to angst and rated m stuff. Will probably only involve the other Got7 members. Feel free to request anything~</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Caught red handed [Yugyeom-centric/YugBumSon]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was a time where the deep freezer was never really used for anything, only holding Jackson's clothing items and Kunpimook's Coke bottle from time to time.

“What are you two doing here?” a voice called out to Jackson and Yugyeom.  
That was what later would call being _caught red handed_ and it seriously couldn't get any worse for them. The youngest could practically feel the sharp eyes boring through his back, from where Yugyeom knew their leader would be currently standing. Both of the busted members were too afraid to turn around, to accept defeat and rather kept the last bit of hope they had to possibly escape this bizarre situation by imagining Jaebum had not just addressed them and that it was maybe some kind of mind play. In fact all three of them knew what was happening here and yet no one even dared to move, too afraid to break the somehow current peace-pact between them.

 

For a split second Yugyeom contemplated making a run for it. He was closer to the door, his long legs would provide him with the necessary head start he needed to get away without being caught red handed. It would be only a few steps. But could he really sell out Jackson like that? It was as if they had agreed to some kind of secret, well treasured pact when they started this together, one none of the two could go against. So that idea was quickly dismissed again. Yugyeom was also very well aware that he would eventually have to return to the dorm and Jaebum's wrath then would be something he would rather avoid. 

 

A short glance to their secret hoard in front of them made Yugyeom inwardly groan. Before he considered just getting rid of it in one go. But there was just no way he would be able to gulp down both of his delicious chocolate ice cream, with a dark cacao-waffle holding it in place and the heavenly like soft inner core, of what exactly Yugyeom didn't even know. 

 

He wanted to cry. They hadn't even gotten the chance to go against their diet and finally eat something chocolate related for him and just something sweet for Jackson, before Jaebum had caught them. This was not fair. They couldn't be punished for something the two hadn't even done yet! But he knew better then to come with such an argument against their leader. 

 

It was still quiet and after Jaebum's accusation they were all still dancing around in the currently created grey zone. A glimpse at Jackson's face told Yugyeom that the older was just as clueless as him. They were simply doomed. There was just nothing they could do, nothing they could say to cover any of this up. Worst of all was that it wasn't even worth it, because as mentioned had they just gotten as far as to free the mouth-watering treats from their wrapping. There they were, right in front of them, yet so far away. 

 

Accepting their fate the two needed to perform as much damage control as possible. But what could they possible do? It was then that Yugyeom knew there was only one thing. No matter how much he hated that or how the voice of reason in his head kept telling him that this wouldn't help them anyway. The youngest was just left with no other choice he figured. 

 

It even seemed as if Jackson had come to the same conclusion as he this time searched for Yugyeom's eyes. Something sparkling in them that Yugyeom could only hope they were on the same page right now. But this was the only way. It was now or never and with a count of three, so quiet that Yugyeom wasn't even sure if it was audible and not just visible from how his mouth formed, the two turned around to Jaebum. 

 

Their leader was caught off guard for a second, which they immediately used to their advantage to start right a head, not giving him any chance to interfere with their plan. The two started to ignominious and pathetically whine, just straight out beg for forgiveness and while at any other given day Yugyeom would hate himself and cringe inwardly at such a behaviour. Today he needed to pull himself together and go through with it. The youngest didn't even hear what Jackson said, he was sure Jaebum himself didn't even understand either of them. Were their voices just a jumbled mess of apologies and too long drawn out whining sounds. 

 

After turning around Yugyeom had just stared at the ground avoiding Jaebum's death like glare he knew all too well from riling up the older once or twice too much. But since Jaebum still hadn't stopped them the curiosity got the better of him and made him face the older one right in front of him. Instead of the scowl he was sure to witness, a still rather surprised expression greeted him, making Yugyeom himself shut up that instant. Was Jaebum pitying them? Did this mean they might get away just like that? 

 

Of course Yugyeom knew Jaebum was not a cruel person, opposed to common believes he was what one would call a total sweetheart. That was if you wouldn't know Jaebum might consider killing you for calling him such a thing. Not that he would harm you in any way, though. But the youngest definitely expected a scolding from him, half expected him to eat their ice cream, especially his beloved chocolate one, in front of them. Now things seemed to look a lot more brighter. 

 

“Don't be like this. Jaebumiiiiieeeeeeeeee.” Or not. Because with Jackson neglecting the formalities at such a situation, Yugyeom knew they were now actually done for. Jaebum's face confirmed his worry, was it now formed into his typical frown, mixed with a lot of annoyance and a pinch of anger. Not a good combination if you asked him. 

 

Jackson seemed to not even notice his mistake and just continued with his rant of sorrys and lame excuses. That was brought to an immediate halt with Jaebum hitting him on the back of his head. Not a real hit that would ring through his head, moreover one that you would use to stop annoying friends from spilling on of your secrets you clearly saw them spread around if it wasn't for that certain claps. 

 

With that Yugyeom knew they would not be spared and accepted his fate by bowing his head beforehand, immediately receiving the expected hit that didn't even sting in the slightest way. 

 

* * *

 

“Can't you even life three days without ice cream?” Jaebum nagged as soon as Jackson had joined them for breakfast. Electing an annoyed and somehow still guilty sounding groan from the Hong Kong native, before he started whining again, “Hyung...” Basically it was a rewind of what happened once Yugyeom entered the kitchen half an hour ago. 

 

After being caught red handed Jaebum had indeed scolded them about keeping their diet and Yugyeom wasn't sure what was worst the scolding and all or the fact that Jaebum threw away their opened ice creams (on an afterthought he was though sure it was the wasted sweets). Surprisingly he told them the next day that they didn't need to sneak out and secretly buy ice cream. Instead they were allowed to always keep some in the refrigerator. 

 

It wasn't that easy though because Jaebum also told them that they should still stick to their diet plans and that the sweets were only for them to cheat once in awhile. So whenever they did go against the diet and ate some ice cream together, because yes they would suffer and enjoy together, Jaebum was there to jump in as their during sugar-starvation-time non existing conscience. Yugyeom figured the first thing Jaebum did every morning and his new whole life purpose was to check the deep freezer. Lurking and waiting for one of each their favourite ice creams to be gone. Only then could he enjoy the glory of making both of them feel awful about themselves. 

 

Yugyeom had even noticed Jackson going to the gym on such days for an extra half an hour though no one really mentioned that. Speaking for himself, he wasn't as affected. Of course Jaebum being disappointed in him left some rather unpleasant feeling in the pit of his stomach but in the end he still got his ice cream, right? Yugyeom rather tried making that up with being extra motivated during practice or schedules and listening extra well to their leader. Even though that lasted one or two days at most, sometimes even just some hours. 

 

Because whenever one item was gone from the fridge it didn't even take 24h for little elves to make sure the missing item would be replaced. So that there was always enough supplied. It was of course only one elf solely, with the name of Im Jaebum. But just like Jackson's guilt release in trainings no one ever mentioned that as well and so the routine of Jackson and Yugyeom sneaking out together did not stop only changed places. Just that now they were doing it much more comfortably. On the other hand though they actually tried to reduce their cheating, because they were very well aware that their leader had enough at his hands and didn't want to burden him more with going out to buy stuff. 

 

But one thing was for sure you could not talk about this, ever. Jaebum was like a deer in the woods familiar with his partner and comfortable but actually telling him they knew what he did, which was rather obvious to begin with, would though be a huge mistake they could never take back. Just thinking about the consequences was making the youngest tear up. That would probably end in no ice cream anymore and he did not want to life in such a cruel and heartless world. Sometimes he admired Mark and Bambam, who could be just as energetic and joyful without any input of the sugary treats that Yugyeom hold dear, even though they had already betrayed him so often. 

 

But then again he liked their new arrangement. The way Jaebum looked fondly at them throughout the day after they did give in and were scolded by him once again. As well as the proud look one would miss if they weren't paying enough attention to him when either Yugyeom or Jackson came to breakfast after a day going through with their diet and not giving in. 

 

Or it was just the unbelievably good heavenly tasting chocolate ice cream.  
Yeah, most definitely that.


	2. Let me shoulder that burden [YugMark]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark wasn't good at voicing out his thoughts.

“Yugyeom-ah, that’s not you,” Mark said. Hoping, pleading to any God out there to finally reach the younger one. He just wanted the old, caring Yugyeom back and not this almost heartless person. What had happened to make his sensitive, fond Yugyeom, the one that had come up to him once he had heard Mark was from LA, to ask countless useless stuff about his life back in the states, between dance practise and vocal lesson, turn into this? 

 

It had started about three months ago and Mark could still beat himself up for not interfering earlier. He did notice the small changes; How his smile wasn’t as radiant and how he started to shut them off more and more. Heck, he had even noticed him avoiding them. 

 

It had started with small things you wouldn’t immediately pick up. Staying behind to train some more which was more than normal for everyone from time to time but had become so frequently for Yugyeom, even though especially he usually managed to master their given choreos in the first days. Still no one really thought it was uncommon. 

 

But then he started to abandon them more directly. Usually after a tiring day of practising some of the trainees would catch something to eat together, Mark often being the one to pay for the others, that he could at least once pretend he was the caring hyung he tried really hard to be, if only it wasn’t for that stupid language barrier. When Yugyeom started turning down free food to do something else, whatever that was, Mark finally got suspicious. But he didn’t want to pressure him into saying anything and instead tried to show him that he was there for him if needed. 

 

Well, that kind of went even worse than he had expected. Unlike his hopes, Yugyeom did not once seek him out to talk with him. When Mark then tried to show him that he was a good listener, by constantly reminding Jackson how he always had a sympathetic ear for him when Yugyeom was even remotely near. It turned out more awkward than anything else. Jackson even questioned his sanity more than once and let him know what a weirdo he thought he was, even though he always mentioned how much he loved him as such in the same sentence. But even with all this humiliation Yugyeom still wouldn’t budge. 

 

Then, suddenly, out of nowhere a chance presented itself. After another tiring week the other trainees had gone out to watch some movie. Mark though rather stayed at home, because he was a) too lazy and b) sure he wouldn’t even understand half of the film. It had been already two years since Mark came to Korea and yet he still felt as if he didn’t knew one word in Korean, the language everyone here spoke, the language he was supposed to rap and sing in. Hopefully just rap, he still feels sorry for his singing teacher, the poor Mr. Kim has to endure a lot with him. 

 

His thoughts were disturbed by the beeping noise of the entrance as some unlocked it. “What did you guys forget this-” Mark abruptly stopped. He had ventured over to the entrance to go and make fun of whom he thought would be Jackson, forgetting something like his wallet, even though he had once again promised he would pay for the tickets. But what or rather who greeted him made him immediately shut up. Yugyeom was standing in the doorway, his long fringe falling into his eyes, backpack lazily dropped over one arm and his long coat opened even though it was freezing outside. 

 

All this though wasn’t why Mark was rendered speechless. It was the huge black eye decorating his face along with some smaller cuts right on his beautiful face, still some baby fat adoring his face. 

 

“I-” Yugyeom started, but was quickly interrupted as Mark just grabbed his wrist and dragged him into the kitchen. He was actually patting his own shoulder, for his decision of staying behind, not even able to imagine what the youngest would have done, if he was alone. Probably nothing but lock himself into his room, away from anyone’s prying eyes. With Mark being here now he though had no chance for this and the elder was more than glad for that. 

 

But he also had so many questions on his mind. What had happened? Who had done this to him? And why would he even get in a fight? Mark just couldn’t see his precious, peaceful Yugyeom out there fighting with someone. Maybe if that meant he would protect another one, but something told Mark it wasn’t like that. 

 

He didn’t try to get any answers forcefully though, knowing how sensitive Yugyeom was and not wanting to make him retrieve into his armour of self-defence even more. Especially since Mark could practically see how uncomfortable he felt, view plastered to the ground, face hidden due to him looking down, while he fidgeted from one feet to another. The elder could only imagine what the other was thinking, but he was sure his thoughts weren’t all that positive. 

 

Mark wasn’t really a fan of scolding others. So instead of lecturing Yugyeom, stuff he knew the other was already well aware of himself, he decided to rather just take care of one of their youngest trainees and more importantly his friend. Carefully he grabbed the other’s face trying to not inflict any pain, lifted it and looked him in the eyes. “Stay here. I am just going to get some stuff to disinfect this, okay?” 

 

Yugyeom's eyes were widened probably surprised by his hyungs actions and how he didn’t scold him, but he nodded nevertheless. Mark clearly saw the tears forming, rimming his eyes and it tore at his heart to see him so broken. Why hadn’t he done something earlier to prevent this? 

 

He felt the guilt heavy on his shoulders, but didn't mind it, moreover, he really just wanted to take whatever burdened Yugyeom and add it to his own worries. Mark was old enough, he had known what he would get himself into once he went to Korea and he could live with that. Yugyeom was a different case though, he was still a kid. Mark knew he wasn't the best hyung, was he barely able to help Jackson get up in the morning that was, if Mark had heard his own alarm, which to his defence was the case… most of the time, but he wanted to be change that especially if it concerned Yugyeom since he knew the younger needed him. 

 

Now here he was. One of the youngest trainee in front of him, almost in tears. Yugyeom, as the most sensitive of them all, probably even feeling bad about accidentally stepping on a bug, involved in some brawl and achieving a black eye. Mark didn't even need to know what happened. Whatever it was must have been something bigger. Yugyeom wouldn't anger people, he knew better than that and he would also avoid such confrontations. 

 

While Mark was attending the younger's bruise, his friend seemed to be deep in thought.  
“Hyung, I-” he started, but something seemed to stop him and while he seemed to struggle with his words, Mark's thoughts were a complete mess as well. 

 

Yugyeom was about to confide in him. He was hoping that Mark would listen to his problems and help him. There was currently nothing Mark wanted to do more. He wanted to help him, find out what had happened and find a solution for his problem. But Yugyeom still seemed hesitant, making Mark contemplate what he could do to motivate him, to give him the last push. 

 

Being clear headed while putting himself under so much pressure had though never been one of Mark's forte. With the time ticking by Mark felt the need to do something, say something, just anything to make sure Yugyeom knew he was there for him, to make him feel more cared for. Not thinking about what exactly he wanted to say and rather acting on pure instinct he blurt out his next words. “You don't have to tell me anything...” he started but quickly noticed his mistake, moreover did he saw it in Yugyeom's eyes how his gaze hardened and face furrowed in disbelief. Mark could even almost see him scoff. “I just mean, like- Talk to me when you feel like it.” 

 

What had he done? He just wanted to help, he didn't want to shut him out even more. It was like seeing a train at full speed, unstoppable as it was, run into a brick wall and not being able to do anything about it. All he could do right now was to make Yugyeom understand his real intentions. “Yugyeom, what I'm trying to say is, I'll always have a sympathetic ear for you. Now and also in two weeks- or whenever...you know,” he said trying to do as much damage control as possible. 

 

Unfortunately for him, it seemed as if it was already too late. Yugyeom removed Mark's hand from his face and stood up, dusting of his legs as if there were any remains of Mark's garbage talk. The elder wanted to smack himself in the face. 

 

As Yugyeom left the kitchen, Mark still standing on his spot unsure of what to do, he turned around, not even meeting the older's eyes and said, “It's alright hyung, don't worry... and thanks. I will come to you if I have problems.” 

 

Mark knew it was a lie and it was his own fault. He had messed up and the guilt was already eating away at him, as Yugyeom left him standing alone to retreat into his shared room. 


	3. You’re 6 feet tall, take care of yourself [YugJae]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They usually always tease each other and today was no expectation.

Yugyeom, move your enormous head to the side, I can't see what's going on!” Jackson complained over the noises of an action scene. He and the three youngest were currently watching some movie together in the living room comfortably seated on the couch. Except for Yugyeom that was. As the youngest, the other had abused their status and made him sit on the ground for no reason whatsoever. Well, It was moreover the evil duo, consisting of Jackson and Bambam, that had thrown him off the sofa. Then again, Youngjae also hadn't really helped him and just enjoyed the luxury of having the armchair all to himself as the other two made sure to use up all the space of the couch, which usually could hold up at least five of them. Yugyeom was kind of pissed.

 

Your fault for banning me from the couch, not everyone can be as small as you.” Yugyeom knew he hit a soft spot with that, but it wasn't as if Jackson had been any nicer to him. Sometimes it really just was an eye for an eye. He heard snores coming from his left side, it was either from Bambam or Youngjae and Yugyeom wouldn't even vow that it was indeed the former. “Yah- Maknae stop complaining!” Bambam teased him as if they weren’t the same age.

 

"He is right, be quiet and duck down,” Jackson added stopping whatever words were threatening to come out of Yugyeom's mouth. _Stupid hierarchy_ , the youngest thought. It were times like these that he hated being the maknae. That didn’t mean though he would comply to every of their demand. Instead, he made sure to straighten his posture and block even more of the TV if possible. The other's obviously didn't like it and one of them let Yugyeom know that by throwing a cushion right against the back of his head. A second one followed right after but fortunately it was aimed too far to the left and missed.

 

In the matter of seconds Yugyeom reacted, collected both and threw them rather aimlessly, but therefore forcefully back. He obviously hit Bambam as his friend squealed in horror, but apparently hit someone else as well, when the targeted boy suddenly voiced out his displeasure. “Hey! Don't get me involved! I didn't do anything!” Youngjae defended himself. He seemed offended, but then again he was also laughing whole heartedly while keeping the pillow that had previously been thrown at him in front of his face as if he needed to expect another attack.

 

"Well, you didn't stop them as well!” Yugyeom tried to guilt trip him. Of course he wasn't really mad, rather aggregated and letting a bit steam off wouldn't hurt, right? His answer seemed to amuse both Jackson and Bambam more than it actually should, as they both started laughing hysterically, more than glad to have dragged the ‘usually innocent Youngjae’ into this mess.

 

Youngjae on the other hand wasn't all too pleased and sent them one of his mock-mad-gazes. He loved watching others bicker, but rather stayed out of shooting range. “You be quiet!” Youngjae started shouting now and used his pillow to attack Bambam's feet as kind of punishment. It didn't do a lot damage, especially since the other just scooped his legs in to save himself from any further hits. It was a wild guess, but Yugyeom was sure he was also kind of trying to use Jackson as some kind of shield. Unlike Yugyeom, Youngjae always respected the hyung-line.

 

Now though, even Yugyeom couldn't help but slightly chuckle about Youngjae's behaviour. There was just something so odd about the him lecturing others. It was so unlike his usual sunshine-persona. Especially, since he seemed to be so ready to jump right over at Bambam to give to give him a real lecture on respecting older ones. “You be still as well!”Youngjae directed his attention back to Yugyeom, “You’re 6 feet tall. Why do I need to help you?” With that off his chest he retreated fully in his arm chair and threatened to throw the pillow in Yugyeom's direction. He looked almost cute, as he sat there pouting and mad, but Yugyeom knew better than to voice that out now.

 

"Why do you even measure in feet hyung, do you even know how much that is?” Yugyeom though couldn’t help but ask. He didn't mean to sound witty, but seriously even he himself had no idea how much that was. As answer to that he was gifted a face full of fabric, as Youngjae had this time seriously thrown his pillow at him. His aim was perfect Yugyeom had to give him that.

 

"He is right though hyung, why did you say that?” Bambam suddenly chipped in, as if he hadn't betrayed Yugyeom throughout the whole evening. For that he did received another death glare from Youngjae, which was in itself a rather rare thing to happen and a pillow square in the face from Yugyeom.

 

"And that's how you stick up for a friend,” He added directing his statement matter of factly to Youngjae, because that's how he would have loved to have the older stick up for him. Then again how could he even begin to be mad at Youngjae when he was usually such a caring person, especially towards him. He should concentrate his anger, if you could even call it that, at the evil duo. Especially Bambam, they were after all same aged friends after all.

 

Then again, Yugyeom had enough for now and he really didn’t want Jackbam to gang up on him further. He had more than once gotten to know their irredeemable wrath. He was too lazy to engulf in that today. Therefore Yugyeom was just about to let it all slide and sit down again, to finally catch up with the movie. They had probably missed the most important parts already, due to their never ending bickering, but whatever. Youngjae somehow suddenly didn't seem too fond of that idea though and instead he stood up with something aching to determination in his eyes.

 

Yugyeom was just about to ask if he was alright, when the older grabbed Bambam who was still on the couch and dragged him by his ankle over the whole side, he only stopped and let go of him as Bambam was seated in the extra armchair and he kept him there with a warning glare. “You stay there because this part,” Youngjae started pointing to the now empty part of the couch Jackson wasn't occupying. Yugyeom briefly wondered if he would have dared to clear Jackson of the way as well, probably not.

 

"Is now ours,” Youngjae continued, grabbed Yugyeom's wrist and tugged him towards the now free but already claimed part. A second ago Yugyeom had still been standing, the next he felt himself being thrown on to Youngjae and enveloped by arms and legs in some kind of koala death grip. “I am sorry Yugyeomie. Don't be mad with me,” the older whined right into his ear. Yugyeom wanted laugh, it was as if Youngjae’s personalities had been swept once more.

 

It were times like these which made him remember Youngjae actually belonged to the younger part of GOT7. Then again, it were also exactly these traits that warmed Yugyeom's heart. Because of exactly such actions, no one could ever be mad at the older, nor deny him anything and Yugyeom had to admit that he was no expectation.

 

"Has he gone insane now?” Jackson asked more than confused about the sudden change of events. Bambam seemed to be the only one paying attention to him though, but at least he agreed. Yugyeom on the other hand couldn't care less. He might not be one to enjoy 'aegyo' and such things, but he would never turn down free hugs from any of his hyungs.

 

This time was no difference and because of that Yugyeom made himself a tad more comfortable as he leaned in to the older. Youngjae followed his example and at least pried his legs off of him to sit up a bit higher. Both of them adjusted a bit further to actually get comfortable and be able to see the TV, even though the movie wasn't even that important anymore. Instead they rather just bathed in each other's presence.

 

"Are you mad with me Yugyeomie?” Youngjae suddenly asked quietly as if it wasn’t meant for the rest to hear. Yugyeom would have laughed, because Youngjae obviously hadn't cared about that before, but he didn't miss his tone of voice and the slight waver in it, telling the youngest that the other might actually be worried about that.

 

"Of course not hyung, "Yugyeom reassured him. He took one of Youngjae's arm that was still draped around him and for once acted like the maknae he actually was as he pressed it as close to his chest as possible. Yugyeom looked up to the older and didn’t even notice how he pouted slightly. He didn't want Youngjae to be worried. Yugyeom teased all of them, because they usually did the same, but he rarely meant what he said. “Hyung, you know I didn't mean it right?” Immediately both of them broke into a genuinely smile.


	4. Fighting his own insecurities [Yugson]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts were eating away at Yugyeom.

"Stop it," Yugyeom said annoyed. He really had had enough for today.

"Please, Yugyeom. Did you already forget about your new goal?" one of his hyungs announced, so obviously faking concern that it could only be Jackson. As everyone in the car laughed along the other's joke, he felt some distinct simmering in his mind, a small fraction of rage breaking free- but of course he knew better than to actually act upon that.

 

He really regretted being so careless to say something like that I'll try to treat my hyungs better' he should have known they would only make fun of him. Somehow this whole ' _rebellious_ _maknae_ _'_ had gotten out of hand during the If You Do era and now everyone used any given opportunity to remind him of that. 

 

The thing was Yugyeom wasn't even that bad of a maknae. Of course he would argue back but only when he knew joking was alright. If they were ever to actually ask or demand something from him, he would comply immediately. So weren't they going overboard with the whole thing?

 

But there was no way to back out of it anymore. Too often had he already continued this joke and played along. If he would say something now, everyone would probably remind him of his just given promise, which was too much to begin with. He hadn't reacted when the others went overboard with their enthusiasm, knowing it was just for show, but he had clearly seen it. Mark's obnoxiously loud laughter, mouth wide agape as he had to hold his stomach, Jackson wanting to interfere probably another joke about all this already at the tip of his tongue. Jinyoung wasn't as bad he had just laughed, but therefore Yugyeom was even more surprised about Youngjae's reaction. Youngjae had never been the one to joke that much with him in such a way. It was most of the time even the two making fun of others together and now he was suddenly part of the _hyung line_?

 

Bambam was the only one who seemed to know about Yugyeom's honest thoughts, were they after all roommates and best friends. They never kept anything from another and so at a day were Bambam had joined in on the fun to tease him about his _disrespectful maknae behaviour_ , Yugyeom had confronted him and asked him to please not join the teasing and after that he never did again. The two trusted each other a lot not that Yugyeom couldn’t trust the rest of them, but it was just different. 

 

That brought him to the last person, Jaebum and how he had even stood up to bow in front of him. Yugyeom hadn't even gifted him with any kind of acknowledgement. He had clearly seen it. How could one not, when he was standing right in the middle, for all cameras to catch. He had expected such a move from Jackson and honestly probably wouldn't have minded it half as much, but Jaebum as their leader was a different case. 

 

Jaebum was the one Yugyeom had the most respect for. Countless times had he told him how much he admired him, countless times had he come to him to distract him when he knew Jaebum's mind was clouded with heavier thoughts. Thoughts he did not want to burden others with. Everything he had done was to amuse him, to lift his mood and now this. 

 

They had even talked about this after the got2day episode because Jaebum had been afraid to have had overstepped boundaries with his teasing and while Yugyeom did indeed tell him that it wasn't the case he also added how that topic especially was something he didn't like. He thought Jaebum would get the hint, stop saying these things and then the others would follow suit, only joking about this from time to time- but instead it had only gotten worse and Yugyeom often felt like there were hidden cameras for a new show format about who could make the most jokes on Yugyeom's costs.

 

Now sitting here in the car preached between Jackson and Youngjae, listening to more of their jokes was really taking a toll on him. If at least Bambam would have been next to him to actually calm him down, but unfortunately the other was placed right in front of him and only able to send him encouraging looks telling him to bear with it for now, clearly aware of the youngest thoughts.

 

The ride back to their hotel had been too long, even though Yugyeom was sure they had been at one of the closest destinations yet. By now the others had stopped their teasing, but it was still weighing down on him. As soon as they had finally arrived Yugyeom sprinted to his room. If anyone would have asked he would have just excused it with him being tired from work, but in reality he couldn't really care about that now.

 

"You need to talk to them Yugyeom," Bambam said after he had joined him in their hotel room. The younger was comfortably lying on his bed, gaze fixed at the sealing. He couldn't just _talk to them_ , of course he usually always could go to them if anything bothered him. If they did something wrong in his opinion each and every of the five was open to discuss things and Yugyeom had never been afraid to seek any of them out, but this here was different. "They think it's a joke, from their point of view they're doing nothing wrong," Yugyeom stated trying to explain why he couldn't listen to Bambam's advice. 

 

"Well, but they're obviously taking it too far. Tell them and they will understand your concerns," his friend tried once again. They had talked about this already and Bambam had been trying to get him to speak up for some time now without any success. That didn't change today. Yugyeom didn't answer and instead turned away from him on his bed seemingly trying to rest, but both knew that this wasn't the case.

 

Bambam heaved a sigh, announced that he's going to get something to eat with the other and asked Yugyeom if he would join them. Just like before he didn't receive anything and took that as _no_.

 

Alone in the room the complete silence was devastating. It was leaving his own thoughts too much room, letting them become way too loud. There was something even Bambam didn't know, not because Yugyeom didn't trust him, but because he knew the other too well and could already predict his reaction. 

 

Every joke had at least some truth in them and by now they had thrown so many at him, they were taunting him. Each and every joke they had ever said mocked him in his mind, told him that they were somewhat true and snippets of what his hyungs actually thought of him:

_Can't you behave once?_

_You really aren't cute, what are you even good for?_

_You wanne be an adult so badly but behave like such a child!_

 

_What was he even good for?_ Everyone had something, Mark had his stunts, Jaebum was leading them all, writing songs and one of their main vocals, Jackson was funny and carrying their name out to the world, Jinyoung was making himself a name as actor, Youngjae was carrying all their songs with his voice and Bambam… everyone loved Bambam, but what was about him? What could he provide? Sure, he could dance, but it wasn't as if the other's couldn't.

 

The answer was that he was useless. He wasn't even a good maknae Bambam did a much better job than him at that. The only thing was that the other's would probably miss him, because they had no one to tease anymore to make fun of, maybe Jackson would have to sacrifice for that, but none of them would probably mind too much…

 

He was so lost, so lost and he couldn't find his way back. Voices screamed at him, to go, continued telling him how useless he was, as if he didn't already know that, as if that wasn't the only thing on his mind day by day. He felt like falling into a black pit of nothing and no one could get him out there. Did he even want to get out? Moreover, did he even deserve to get out? Did he deserve to life of the other's success? That wasn't fair, was it? 

 

“Yugyeom, hey...” a calm voice reached him and he could faintly feel someone rubbing his hand over his back in a calming manner. He did say something, but Yugyeom couldn't make out who it was yet. Though, did it even matter? They didn't care after all. No one did and even if then Yugyeom didn't deserve that. 

 

It took some more minutes for him to calm down enough to even notice the other was rubbing away tears at his face, to notice that he was even crying. His head hurt and he just wanted to make this stop to go back to the nights he prayed for all them to make the cut. Back then when he was naive enough to believe he would still develop some skills.

 

“Yugyeomie, what happened?” the soft voice called out again, so careful and quiet, something Yugyeom wasn't used to hear from him. It was almost foreign, but even worst was the face before him, furrowed in worry and concern. Maybe he had been wrong, but that didn't help the unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach. Perfect now he also started to become a burden to one of the member who already had enough on his shoulders.

 

Yugyeom wanted to reassure him that he was fine, feed him the lies until he believed them. How could he forgot about Jackson's other side, the one that cared more about anyone but himself, the one whose heart was as big as a mountain and the one which would always try to take everyone's burden. Yugyeom really didn't need to add more to Jackson's own problems, but as he opened his mouth nothing came out of it. There was a huge lump stopping him and Yugyeom felt so helpless, so useless.

 

“Don't cry,” Jackson almost purred and guided both of them to lie down at the bed. He cradled the other in his arm until he would finally find his words again. It took some time and when Jackson heard the dorm door open and saw another head peak in to check on them, Yugyeom had finally managed to fall asleep, but Jackson still didn't know what had managed to upset him this much and so he couldn't provide the worried leader with anything.

 

As he saw Bambam sneak up behind the other, eyes steadily watching them as he went to his own bed, Jackson saw the guilt in them and knew just whom he needed to pester.


	5. Get fucking off me [Yugbam]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bambam might have started it, but therefore Yugyeom made sure he regretted his move immediately (ft. still salty Jinyoung).

Bambam was draped across his back, his elbow sticking right into his side, while both were browsing through their phone. They had a day off and used it to its fullest by doing absolutely nothing, especially not moving. Yes, days of meant lounging around the dorm throughout the whole day and mostly annoying each other. Currently they were off each other's throat, because both were too occupied on their social media accounts.

 

“Gosh, Bambam move! You're suffocating me!” Yugyeom moaned out as another sharp pain shot through him as Bambam poked his elbow even further into the younger. To protest against the youngest words he shoved his free arm even further into him, until Yugyeom actually shied away from the pain. “Are you telling me I am too heavy!? Is that it!?” he continued, poking him over and over again.

 

Yugyeom wouldn't have any of that and turned around to lie on his back and push his friend finally off him without any care. Bambam immediately tumbled off the bed and crashed on to the hard floor with a loud whine. “Yugyeom!” he shrieked and dove up again with only his head sticking up. He seemed everything but amused and leaned back towards his own bed. With a bit of struggle and a really ugly face expression of concentration, the thai grabbed for one of his own pillows. The moment he got on hold on to the item he immediately smashed it right into Yugyeom's face.

 

Happy about his triumph Bambam let free an unrestrained, boisterous laugh of success, as he literally rolled on the ground. Yugyeom didn't hesitate for long, mumbled some profanities under his breath and threw himself right off the bed after the other and crushed him right under his heavy build. “Yah! You're the heavy one! Get off me!” Bambam shrieked once more.

 

The taller was ruthless though and rather buried Bambam under him, crashing him on pure purpose. He did take off some weight though, as he steadied himself with his arm placed on the ground. “So now I am fat? Is that it!?” Yugyeom argued. Bambam tried to break free and clawed at the other's chest, but it didn't really help because his chest seemed to be made out of steal if anything.

 

Laughing at Bambam's fruitless attempt, Yugyeom let himself finally, but carefully, slump onto the other. “No, no, no!” The older cried this time, already prepared for the heavy onslaught of the body. Bambam's protest only managed to amuse the youngest further as he erupted in a fit of laughter.

 

They stayed like this for approximately another 10 minutes with neither Bambam nor Yugyeom moving. The younger had rested his head on his chest and made sure Bambam couldn't escape his hold as he clutched onto his torso. “Can I please move now?” Bambam asked less than amused about the uncomfortable hard floor and the bone crushing hold he was currently in. “No,” was all he received from Yugyeom.

 

He did move though, but only to retrieve his cell phone from the ground right next to him- he still had it in his hand the moment he jumped off the bed on to the other, the small damage it might take overshadowed by the want to make Bambam regret his previous move. Yugyeom shifted a little on top of his friend but only so he could unlock his phone to surf some more on the internet, just like he had done before this whole incident. Bambam didn't get a chance to escape though, which made him huff in annoyance.

 

“Yugyeom, get off me. I can't breathe,” he continued whining as if that would save him; he knew it wouldn't though, but hey, it was worth a try and Bambam most definitely wasn't one to shut up and endure it.

 

A second later the two were disturbed by the door opening. Yugyeom wasn't really bothered by that and just continued what he had done before and since Bambam hadn't really anything to do and was facing the door already, he was greeted by a confused Jinyoung.

 

That confused face quickly turned into a disappointed one as Jinyoung started shaking his head frustrated. “Wow, I was used to you and Jackson betraying me, but now even Yugyeom is better off than me …?” he mused as he passed them to get to his room. “Noooo, hyung, help me. That giant baby isn't moving off me,” Bambam continued whining, even though he knew it was already a lost case. Jinyoung would just rub in further how disappointed he was and how left out he felt. He had heard enough of that whenever he and Jackson did something together, without Jinyoung.

 

Yugyeom still ignored everything currently happening around him as Jinyoung returned from his room apparently already finished with whatever he had needed to do in his room. He stopped in front of the two and for a second Bambam had actually hope he was getting help from him, he knew he would have to kiss his feet if he would actually do that and he would love to if that meant he could team up with him against their youngest.

 

Bambam had been right with his first assumption though and Jinyoung only got out his own cell phone to unlock it and obviously place it in order to take a nice picture of the both. The older smiled cunningly very well aware of the annoyance was it also clearly visible on Bambam's face. “Say cheese,” he teased him further, while Yugyeom still didn't bother with them.

 

“Ah man, what does a hyung need to do to get some love from his dongsaeng here,” he added disappointedly, as he pocketed his phone again and left the two alone again.

 

Yugyeom made himself comfortable again on Bambam's chest, who by now had surrendered himself as his personal pillow. Five minutes into the quiet Yugyeom broke out into a loud laugh. He was laughing so hard he rolled of the older and gifted him his freedom again. Bambam as curious as ever snatched the electronic device from his already loose hold, to see what the fuss was about.

 

He quickly understood that he was the reason of Yugyeom's current enjoyment as he was greeted with a really annoyed and unfortunately for him also ugly face of himself, trapped under Yugyeom. "Hyung!!! Really you don't post anything for months and this is now worth to be placed on your account?”


End file.
